Language Abuse
Sure, millions of people serve as vocal advocates in the prevention of child and animal abuse—but what about these examples of language abuse? Let's unite and take a stand against such flagrant abuses of language!
- Definite possibility: Is it definite, or is it a possibility?
- Gathered together: Are we gathering apart next year?
- To be (perfectly) honest with you: So you’ve considered the possibility of lying?
- Almost exactly: Um, I have a question…
- “The reality is…” or “in reality…”: People don’t appreciate it when you imply that they need a lesson in reality. These words are unnecessary and condescending—and also a matter of perception.
- Alternative lifestyle: Every lifestyle is just another alternative.
- I feel: Do you really “feel,” or would you simply prefer not to be challenged for what you “think”?
- Untimely death: As opposed to timely?
- Possible options: If they were impossible, would they still be options?
- First annual: Sorry—but until the second year, it’s not annual.
- Mute point: *sigh* If only everyone with a moot point would remain mute.
- One in the same: meaningless. It’s “one and the same.”
- Supposably: “Supposedly.” Enough said.
- Try and: (as in, “I will try and make it on time.”) Everyone thinks this example is ridiculous, but at least half of us make this simple mistake of carelessness. You can’t try and be on time; you can only try to be on time.
- Tongue and cheek: Hey, why not hand and foot? Or ear and mouth? When people are kidding or intentionally lying, they’re said to stick their tongues in their cheeks—so it’s “tongue in cheek.”
- Unconscience: Wake up! It’s unconscious.
- Irregardless: Want to make an editor angry? Use this word. It’s “regardless,” in all cases. Annoying fact: irregardless is listed in the dictionary—a fact which many people have leaned on to defend its use. But don’t use it. It’s non-standard, meaningless, and just plain irritating.
- I could care less: Could you really? People usually say this when they mean that they couldn’t care less. If that’s what you mean, that’s what you should say.
- Please RSVP: R.S.V.P. stands for the French phrase “Répondez s’il vous plaît” (reply, please)—so the extra “please” that appears on many invitations is unnecessary. Since few people seem to know the literal meaning of R.S.V.P., it’s probably best to use plain English: “Please reply.”
- Thank you in advance: Equivalent to sending a sympathy card weeks before someone’s death. (Hey, you knew it was coming, right?) Saying “thank you in advance” tells your readers that you assume they’ll do what’s being requested, and it also implies that it won’t be worth your time to thank them later.
- Utilize / Utilization: I dare anyone on this planet to provide an example where “utilize” or “utilization” couldn’t be shortened to “use.” These words reek of desperation to sound impressive via unnecessary syllables.
- Literally: We all know the guy: “She was literally nine feet tall!” or “I was literally dead!” Don’t’ use the word literally when something isn’t literal. Your three-hour meeting is not literally going to kill you. Figuratively, maybe...
- And more! Watch for occurrences of “…and more!” at the end of written lists. This is usually a clear signal that either (1) someone is too lazy to list the “more,” or (2) someone doesn’t really know what that “more” is.
